10. The double yellow lines are a skinny motorbike lane.

I’m convinced that the double yellow lines are there so motorbikes have their own lane. Which is really nice. If you ride a motorbike. And really scary. If you like the paint on your car.

9. If a random stranger asks you for money to park, you should probably pay them.

In some towns and cities you might see a guy with a bum bag / fanny pack. At first I thought this was some 80’s revival thing but it seems they are there to take a little money to watch your car ($1-2 seems to do nicely sir). Now this sounds like a scam, but in reality it’s part of life here. Car crime does happen (especially if you are driving here in a rental as they are all similar models and easily identified). But take heart – these are often good local guides and will set you up with some great ice cream or the location of the hatching turtles.

8. A lot of streets have no names. A lot of houses have no number.

I appreciate that to some this is a very foreign concept. Being told Mario lives 2km south of the blue nun statue in a pale green house with the banana tree is disconcerting. But look at it this way. You either find Mario, or you end up making a new friend who has bananas (I love bananas).

7. It’s technically possible to get an entire family on one motorbike.

I’ve yet to be in a position where I can safely take a picture of this. I mean let’s be honest, when you see Dad, the 4-year-old and his 11-year-old sister, Mum and the machete all trundling along on their Kawasaki, the last thing on your mind is your DSLR.

6. After 10pm red lights are optional

I shit you not. Article 108g of the Costa Rican traffic law states that between 10pm and 5am you don’t have to wait for a green light. I mean you do have to stop for other vehicles and pedestrians (see item 3 below) who have the right of way, but if it’s clear, burn on through my friend. Burn on through. (Note this one tightens your sphincter more than the mini motorcycle lane).

5. Trucks / lorries 15 years or older have only 2 speeds – stop and 20mph

I was trying to figure out the other day why I appeared to be in very slow-moving traffic. When I finally got near the obstruction, it was a small, 1990’s era van that was doing 20mph. At the time I got to him we were going downhill. Now I know that the mass of even a small van with no drive at all descending a 1:14 incline is more that 20mph. So he must have been doing it deliberately :). Pura Vida!

4. You need the reactions of a pilot to spot the exit signs

This ones a bit of a sore point if I’m honest. So basically you get ONE chance at the exit signs. Now if you happen at the time to be focussing on your banana split with extra ice cream, well, you’re sort of stuffed. But if you are lucky enough to be behind a 90’s era truck or a motorbike with 12 people on it, then there’s a good chance you’ll have time to react. Buena suerte!

3. Pedestrians don’t have any rights. Period

This is just a warning if you are a pedestrian. Here. In Costa Rica.

(I know this is a Top 10 for driving, but here’s the thing. If you have a modicum of kindness you stop for them. Then someone rear ends you because no one stops for a pedestrian. Just sayin’)

2. Potholes are as common as motorbikes on double yellow lines

I’m a petrol head. So I love driving. I love bends and slaloms. I love anything that challenges the roadholding and power of a vehicle and my skill (or lack of it).

So from my perspective the pot holes are deliberately put here to make me happy. You may see it another way. Especially if there really are 12 of you on that Kawasaki.

And at the Number 1, Numero Uno spot!

If you want to pass someone, go for it!

I’ve driven in some crazy ass places. India. Indonesia. Kentucky.

But even there, it’s usually accepted that if you are going uphill, on a blind bend, in the rain, at night, with one headlight, you don’t overtake another vehicle doing 60mph.

I mean I know. If you happen to be driving your 568bhp Aston Martin Vanquish with the AM29 V12 (see told you I was a petrol head) then maybe, just maybe you might be tempted. (Actually I would be tempted – see 2 above).

But if you happen to be in, oh, lets say a 2011 VW Passat with 3 kids, a dog and a surf board on the roof secured with frayed bungee cords, you may not be as confident.

Unless you are a Costa Rican.

In which case it’s like an arse tightening, can’t look but have to look, oh crap he’s not going to make it, holy hell he made it but I think his wing mirror is in the bushes kind of manoeuvre.

LTPV!
Gary